It's so not alright, but I wouldn't tell him that.

Because I understand what he's going through? Because it really isn't marriage? Because I still have lingering something or other for someone who doesn't love me that way? Because he's a really sweet guy and I'm a silly little slut? Because who can really compare to an aspect of God?

Something like that. And a million shades between.

What am I doing with my life? I have no plans, no home, no job...no anything! And every part of me keeps saying I've got to grow up yet there's a persistant voice telling me to run away and throw it all to the wind. But I know I can't.

Being an adult is really shitty sometimes.

Okay, so I'm still living with Phoebe and I have no job. She wanted me to attend some high council-y thing but thought better of it and instead she, Guiliano and Giovanni are off together. Good. Can't stand politics. What on earth was she thinking?

Other than that, I have met the lovely Zander Sparks and we're going on a date. He sent me a kiss-o-gram and everything, which I thought was lovely.

Anthony is here, too. And he's finally admitting who he is. Fantastic! Next step is the parents. But first we're going to rattle his plastic before telling them. And then afterwards, when they undoubtedly do shout and scream and disown exactly like they did for poor Dorian, I'm getting his father a years subscription of midget porn under his own bank account. Aha and take that!

So I got to the Nexus place at last after the most horrible day in existence! Honestly, I couldn't believe it. The car broke down, and then I tried to hitchhike, and then it was pouring down with rain and I kept wishing and wishing I could just be somewhere else and then I was. But it was alright, because this lovely woman named Rosie had excellent coffee and towels on hand and there were other lovely people and finally Phoebe came! And then I got drunk! Or moderately tipsy. It was fun!

And I've met her very charming boyfriend Scott, and he's quite sweet and if Zia Michelina kicks up a fuss I will stick up for him because really she just likes to kick up a fuss anyway.

But I quite like this place, and Phoebe and Scott's house is lovely. I'm going to have to check back and visit Giovanni because he's being all mopey and silly since Annamaria. Or at least phone Gee-Gee to take care of him. They need to go and get sloshed together or something. GUILIANO IF YOU'RE OUT THERE GO AND SEE TO MY BROTHER AND HIS MISERY!!